In my last post I referenced how I used to have a temper. On occasion this temper got the better of me, especially in sports, and I would sometimes get into "verbal disagreements." I am proud to say that I have never been in a fist fight. I have unfortunately been quite close on multiple occasions. Needless to say, this isn't the best trait to have and for that reason I have repeatedly tried to suppress this emotion. I have been pretty successful at it, but this last week I might have had a little bit of a relapse.
For this to make sense you need to understand something about me. I have this sense of duty and justice that at times seems a little extreme, but for me is real all the same. While reading a biography of Abraham Lincoln I came upon this great quote from our former president, "Let us have faith that right is might, and let us in that faith, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it." I love the simplicity of it, but also the power in saying Do what you are supposed to do. Now that you understand that, we can begin the story.
It was lunch time on Thursday, and I was walking to my next class with some friends. We had to cross a street so we waited at the cross-walk until it was appropriate to cross. As we started out a bunch of cars on the opposite side of the street sped up so that they would not have to stop. Some were still crossing in front of us (now going much faster than they should have) as we were getting to the side of the street where they would be able to hit us. I was a little perturbed by the idiocy of the situation and yelled "are you kidding me!" Another side note--I come from a state where there is an unwritten code of driving ethics that involves being courteous and driving in a way that others can feel safe. Currently I live in a state where it is a mad dash to drive as crazy and fast as you can to simply stop at the red light in front of you. It drives me crazy how people are in such a hurry to get nowhere that they will often endanger other drivers and pedestrians--Enough of that rant and back to the story. Like I said, I was a little mad that the people decided they would rather speed up and risk hitting me only to hit the red light three hundred yards away, instead of slowing down and yielding so I could safely cross. As I yelled at the cars a motorcyclist just so happened to be driving by as well. He evidently heard me as he turned into the parking lot about fifty feet away and waited. He was a big Polynesian guy, and when he pointed in my direction I thought it might be to acknowledge the Polynesians walking behind me, but I pointed back just in case he was directing his point to me, I mean I didn't want to be rude :) As I got closer to this guy he called out "Did you say something to me?" and I immediately replied, "Ya I said are you KIDDING ME?" I don't think he liked that as he started to follow me on his motorcycle saying things to the extent of "Did I hit you?" I responded that he hadn't but then informed him that it is the law to yield to pedestrians, especially when they are legally crossing on a crosswalk. He really didn't like this and we bantered back and forth while my friends tried to pull me away. I understand their reasoning, because had this come to blows I am pretty sure I would have become pretty bloody and most likely lost consciousness (this guy was big). Anyway, luckily it didn't come to that but I did have the last word telling the guy to go back to driving school.
Yes this whole exchange was fairly childish of me and I should have just let it go, but like the quote I feel that right is might, but I also feel that right is right no matter what. I especially feel so when it comes to driving safely and protecting pedestrians. I also feel that right is right even when you might get your face caved in. I actually think that is what gives me the thrill of talking back. Because as I look back in my life the majority of my "verbal disagreements" that could have resulted in blood and warfare were with guys who outweighed me by at least 50 pounds. It must have to do with the enjoyment I found from fighting my older brother which I always lost. Maybe by being a younger brother I am bound to pick fights that are beyond my capabilities, but you know what, I'm willing to be the superhero who stands up for what is right but always gets beat up, because like my buddy Abe said right is might.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Beware the ides of Thanksgiving
Yes I know the title of this blog doesn't make much sense. The word "ides" refers to the 13 or 15 of the month in the roman calender depending on the month, and since Thanksgiving is not on of the months on the roman calender my title pretty much is nonsensical. If you, my devote non-comment writing reader, are familiar with an old friend of mine named Julius Caesar, then you might just happen to see the method to my madness (yes that too is a quote). "Beware the ides of March" was the warning given Caesar, as the 15 of March would ultimately become his death day. Enough of meaningless trivia and vocabulary. I once again find myself writing about death and I truly am starting to worry. Last week I wrote about the grandfather who passed away on Thanksgiving. This week I get to add to that tally. My friend's grandmother also passed away on Thanksgiving. I would stop there if that were all I had to say, but the story, unfortunately, goes on.
This last Tuesday, I received a phone call from a friend. He asked me if I had heard about our mutual friend Bruce and I said no. My buddy then informed me that Bruce had died on the day before Thanksgiving. Maybe now you understand my warning about Thanksgiving. Bruce's passing has really affected me. I am not normally prone to great displays of emotion, or even letting things affect me that much. Usually I am able to allow things to roll off my shoulder and quickly move on, even in the face of death. I know that really doesn't sound like the best way of dealing with things, and I agree, but I am how I am. I think it goes back to me learning to control my temper and having to not let emotion dictate my actions. I digress though. Bruce's passing has really affect me for multiple reasons. The first is that I considered him a pretty good friend. Yes he was 23 years my senior, but I really had a friendship with him. This was the first time a friend of mine has died. I've known people who have died, but usually they are much older, or in the case of the girl my grade who died, I learned about her death almost a year after the fact. In Bruce's case, we were friends, and I found out about his death pretty quickly. The second reason his death has really affected me is that I wasn't really happy with him after the last time we had been together. He had been rude to me and insulted me. Before he had done so I had felt like I should bring him a magazine to help inspire him. I had done this before and am not certain if it had really made a difference in his life, but I really try to do the things I feel I should do. In this case, after he treated me poorly I no longer wanted to do this for him, despite feeling I should. I now regret letting his actions dictate my actions. This situation might not make much sense to you, as I am being a little vague and you probably don't have much background on this situation, but needless to say I feel really bad that I will never be able to do a small act of kindness for my friend again. He is gone, and I allowed his actions to prevent me from acting how I felt I should. I miss him, and will use this experience to help motivate myself to act how I should act regardless of the actions of others.
Now onto a subject entirely unrelated to death. My teacher gave me an assignment this week to find someone more stressed than me and then do something nice for them. I literally laughed to myself when he said this because Lenora stresses more than probably anyone I know. This made it easy for me to fulfill this assignment. Lenora had a lot of homework to do this weekend so I decided that the best way to fulfill my assignment of being nice to Lenora was to go skiing. Yes that's right I went skiing in order to be nice to my wife. No we don't hate each other, quite the opposite actually, but I knew she needed a lot of time alone so she could do her homework. As my dad would say, "somebody has to make the sacrifice." My sacrifice just so happened to be going skiing. On a more serious note I did do more to be nice. One night she was gone for a bit and I cleaned up a lot of the house, and when she came home she saw me cleaning the front room and asked "what are you doing?" She thought I couldn't stand the mess anymore and just had to clean up. That goes to show you how much I clean. I guess that can become one of my new year's resolutions...help clean up more. Anyway, this blog is entirely too long, but some times that is how the cookie crumbles.
This last Tuesday, I received a phone call from a friend. He asked me if I had heard about our mutual friend Bruce and I said no. My buddy then informed me that Bruce had died on the day before Thanksgiving. Maybe now you understand my warning about Thanksgiving. Bruce's passing has really affected me. I am not normally prone to great displays of emotion, or even letting things affect me that much. Usually I am able to allow things to roll off my shoulder and quickly move on, even in the face of death. I know that really doesn't sound like the best way of dealing with things, and I agree, but I am how I am. I think it goes back to me learning to control my temper and having to not let emotion dictate my actions. I digress though. Bruce's passing has really affect me for multiple reasons. The first is that I considered him a pretty good friend. Yes he was 23 years my senior, but I really had a friendship with him. This was the first time a friend of mine has died. I've known people who have died, but usually they are much older, or in the case of the girl my grade who died, I learned about her death almost a year after the fact. In Bruce's case, we were friends, and I found out about his death pretty quickly. The second reason his death has really affected me is that I wasn't really happy with him after the last time we had been together. He had been rude to me and insulted me. Before he had done so I had felt like I should bring him a magazine to help inspire him. I had done this before and am not certain if it had really made a difference in his life, but I really try to do the things I feel I should do. In this case, after he treated me poorly I no longer wanted to do this for him, despite feeling I should. I now regret letting his actions dictate my actions. This situation might not make much sense to you, as I am being a little vague and you probably don't have much background on this situation, but needless to say I feel really bad that I will never be able to do a small act of kindness for my friend again. He is gone, and I allowed his actions to prevent me from acting how I felt I should. I miss him, and will use this experience to help motivate myself to act how I should act regardless of the actions of others.
Now onto a subject entirely unrelated to death. My teacher gave me an assignment this week to find someone more stressed than me and then do something nice for them. I literally laughed to myself when he said this because Lenora stresses more than probably anyone I know. This made it easy for me to fulfill this assignment. Lenora had a lot of homework to do this weekend so I decided that the best way to fulfill my assignment of being nice to Lenora was to go skiing. Yes that's right I went skiing in order to be nice to my wife. No we don't hate each other, quite the opposite actually, but I knew she needed a lot of time alone so she could do her homework. As my dad would say, "somebody has to make the sacrifice." My sacrifice just so happened to be going skiing. On a more serious note I did do more to be nice. One night she was gone for a bit and I cleaned up a lot of the house, and when she came home she saw me cleaning the front room and asked "what are you doing?" She thought I couldn't stand the mess anymore and just had to clean up. That goes to show you how much I clean. I guess that can become one of my new year's resolutions...help clean up more. Anyway, this blog is entirely too long, but some times that is how the cookie crumbles.
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